Each month we explore pop culture (we kind of have to, it's in our title), 80's and 90's nostalgia, movie and TV trends, old school toys & games, tropes, urban myths, and more. Commentary, criticisms, and opinions abound. Stick around, you might just be entertained.
It happens every day. You are watching Season 5 of your favorite sitcom when
suddenly you get an uneasy feeling.What’s wrong?The teenage kid of
the married couple on tv is just doing the same routine they have been doing
for five years.It used to be
hilarious.What changed?
CUTE
CREEPY
I call it the “DENNIS THE MENACE EFFECT.” This occurs when I child actor who was between
the ages of 7 and 12 when a show begins engages in the same cute, mischievous,
or stupid behavior in season 5.The
issue, and we all know it, is that the kid should have long matured past the
point of trying to paint their next-door neighbor’s house to “be helpful” or to
think there are ghosts in the attic when there is an animal trapped behind a
wall.At this point the kid just appears
to have a learning disability.And
learning disabilities are rarely funny.
This is why THE SIMPSONS, BOB’S BURGERS, and KING OF THE
HILL manage to succeed where other sitcoms fail.The children don’t have to age so they never
become too old to engage in child-like behavior.A 30 year old Bart Simpson saying “Eat My
Shorts” and idolizing a clown isn’t funny….it is kind of depressing and creepy.
Unfortunately, until science creates children that don’t
age, kids on tv will get older naturally and their previously cute behavior
will become creepy.I guess you could
always recast every few years like soap operas.But I don’t know if I want there to be a voiceover at the beginning of
Season 5 of THE GOLDBERGS that says “The part of Adam Goldberg is now being
played by Jerry Weinstein.”What
happened to the previous actor?Did he
die?Does he have a disease?Is he being forced to sign autographs at some
convention in Wisconsin?As a viewer I’m
glad I don’t have to watch a 20 year old act like a 15 year old, but as a
naturally anxious person I’m going to fear for the previous actor’s safety.
A better solution is to create sitcoms with arcs and a set
number of seasons in which to tell a story.Vince Gilligan knew that BREAKING BAD was going to be six years because
he had a specific story to tell in a set amount of time. Plus, no one wants to
follow the adventures of an eighty year old meth dealer.That might be even more depressing than a 30
year old Bart Simpson
I initially thought I was going to start the month discussing my favorite movies. However, since I haven't seen THE HOBBIT or ANCHORMAN 2 yet, I'll hold off until I decide if they are worthy to end up on a top ten list of a blog that gets two or three hits a day. Instead, let's discuss some of the best Blu-Rays that I spent too much money on this year.
10) PACIFIC RIM - Thank god that Guillermo Del Toro knows we buy Blu Rays for special features...because his movies are always packed. As usual, his commentary is a highlight, a lecture on how to layer a film with imagery and symbols that work on the viewer's subconscious. For anyone who felt this movie was "shallow," listen to this commentary and discover how much thought was put into everything on the screen. Simply amazing.
9) CHUCKY: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION - Universal did a great job getting all the Child's Play movies in one place. They even licensed the first film from MGM just so the boxset could be "complete." The set disappoints in extras for the 2nd and 3rd movie...because there aren't any. If nothing else, the scenes from the television versions would have been a nice inclusion. Thankfully the other movies have all the extras present in the DVD counterparts. If this set doesn't interest you, I urge you to pick up the standalone release of CURSE OF CHUCKY...the best direct to DVD horror film in years.
8) REGULAR SHOW: SEASONS 1 AND 2 - A Blu Ray packed with 11 minute doses of off-the-wall 80's nostalgia. Surprisingly packed with special features for an animated series on Cartoon Network, the picture quality on this Blu ray is great. Each episode has a commentary and there are even a few documentaries and unaired episodes. If you are a fan, pick it up.
7) THE WALKING DEAD: SEASON 3 - The world's best zombie soap opera comes back with another strong Blu Ray release. Commentaries, featurettes, and the chance to see Andrea go the way of the dodo in hi-def are just some of the treats that await fans of this amazing series.
6) THE FOG - The folks at SHOUT FACTORY released a lot of great Blus of classic horror this year. This one is so good that it gave me new appreciation for a John Carpenter film that has never been one of my favorites. If nothing else, we get Tom Atkins in a commentary...and that is worth the price of admission alone.
5) MAN OF STEEL - The movie is flawed...but the Blu Ray is not. Best feature: watch the movie with Zach Snyder, cast, and crew as they discuss every aspect that went into making this movie. A nice combination of commentary and documentary.
4) THE HOBBIT: EXTENDED EDITION - Not only is the extended cut superior, but the commentaries and documentaries really shed light on every aspect of the making of this movie. I was shocked that they even touched on Guillermo Del Toro's brief stint in the director's chair. Man, what I wouldn't give to see that movie.
3) THIS IS 40 - Judd Apatow's latest looks and sounds great on Blu Ray. It has an hour long making of, insightful commentary, and the usual collection of deleted scenes, alternate lines, and gag reels that make each Apatow Blu Ray such a treat.
2) THE HOWLING - Another reference quality release from SHOUT FACTORY. Outstanding picture quality and a lot of solid documentaries cover everything you would want to know about the making of this werewolf classic. The transformation scenes are especially impressive in this new transfer.
1) SINISTER - While this Blu only contains a couple of lame featurettes and some commentaries, the movie is worth having in any horror fan's collection. I was truly scared by this movie...it's what I wanted THE CONJURING to be.
There it is...another year, another fortune spent on home media. Thank god I have an understanding wife.
I used to love Robert Rodriguez. However, I think, after seeing the trailer for MACHETE KILLS, that I have finally moved on. And, after seeing the box office turnout for his latest (and probably final) MACHETE flick, I would postulate that everyone else has moved on too. The man who gave us the fun and gritty EL MARIACHI and DESPERADO has finally devolved into creating live action cartoons with no story, mediocre acting, misplaced humor, and an over reliance on CGI. He has squandered and relied on the goodwill created by his early films to continue producing increasingly bad films that imitate but fail to understand what makes even the worst genre films succeed on some level.
1) Casting - When Tarantino casts a movie with unexpected or down-on-their-luck genre actors it is because he sees something in those actors that he believes they will bring to the character. There is a reason Robert Forster was nominated for an Academy Award for JACKIE BROWN, he gave an unexpectedly subtle and touching performance. He had been relegated to B-Movie schlock, but Tarantino saw something in him and brought that out in a moving performance. This is also the reason that Tarantino cast Travolta in PULP FICTION. Tarantino knew that Travolta's abilities were greater than the roles he was being offered and he just needed someone to give him an opportunity to show his acting chops.
Rodriguez has no such skill in casting based off of ability. More often than not it seems he relies solely on stunt casting. Willem Dafoe as a drug overlord? Mel Gibson as a terrorist leader? Charlie Sheen as the President? Rodriguez isn't hiring these people because of their ability to bring some nuance to a performance...he is hiring them because people will see them in a trailer and say "Oh my God...I can't believe he hired ______."
I would argue that the last time Rodriguez hired based on ability was SIN CITY. Every person in that movie made more of their performance than the graphic novel roots of the film dictated. For example, Mickey Rourke brings heart and soul to the character of Marv that is both surprising and unexpected. However, I believe that if Rodriguez was making the film today he would have cast Romeo Rose as Marv just so the audience would be shocked by who was cast, not by how well they acted. Unfortunately this stunt casting also dates the movies and any articles written complaining about them.
Image source:1zoom.net
2) Kids Movies - We all loved SPY KIDS. It was actually kind of unusual family entertainment. Then Rodriguez started churning out more SPY KIDS movies to diminishing returns. Then he let his kid write ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL. Do you think Hitchcock would have ever let his five year old daughter script a movie? No, he wouldn't. There's a reason for that.
I just want Rodriguez to quit dipping his toes in the kiddie pool every few years. It's not doing his career any favors.
3) Overreliance on Comedy - Tarantino sprinkles his films with darkly humorous moments that come from character reactions to the implausible situations they are placed in or based on the realistic dialogue and interactions of the characters. Unfortunately, Rodriguez doesn't know how to write dialogue, so he relies on constant splat-stick to keep his movies humorous. Rodriguez doesn't know how much humor to add, often making his films feel like comedies when they are supposed to be action films.
For example, MACHETE would have been amazing if he had played it straight and acted as if he was making a serious movie. The humor would have naturally arisen from grizzled Danny Trejo getting the ladies and killing the bad-guys. Rodriguez thinks that we need to be told what is funny, so we are hit over the head with excessive gore, bad jokes, lame catch-phrases, and spotty acting. He doesn't trust the humor to arise from the situation, and so tries to artificially create laughs, creating a movie with no real identity.
Don't get me started on MACHETE KILLS. It looks like a live action LOONEY TUNES cartoon but without the subtle humor of Speedy Gonzalez.
4) Scripts - Rodriguez does not know how to write a script. Even his simplest films contain elements that make no sense. I'll never forget when I got to the big reveal of PLANET TERROR that was supposed to explain everything. I actually had to watch it several times just to get what had happened....and I still don't really get the explanation. I think the US Government created the virus to give to soldiers who killed Osama Bin Laden because they didn't want anyone to know we had killed Osama for some reason. Don't get me started on ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO. I have no idea what the hell was going on. I think some government people staged a coup to steal some money and make Johnny Depp a blind hitman. Or something like that. Some people probably think this is an homage to the mediocre writing of the drive-in movies of yore. If any other filmmaker had done these movies I would have agreed. But since Rodriguez wrote them I'm going to assume he didn't know how to write a comprehensible explanation or plotline.
Image source:dvdbeaver.com
It's no coincidence that the two of the best films Rodriguez directed, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and SIN CITY, weren't written by Rodriguez. One could argue that he wrote SIN CITY, but since the movie is almost a word for word copy of the graphic novels from Frank Miller, I don't know how much credit can actually be given to Rodriguez.
5) TOO MUCH CGI!!! - PLANET TERROR was a great blast of live action gore effects. CGI was used sparingly, and mainly to enhance practical effects. However, I feel like Rodriguez is getting further and further into CGI territory with every film. The issue is that his films rarely have the budget to afford the quality of CGI needed to convince an audience of their reality and suspend disbelief. Therefore, I suggest that he stick to real tangible effects in order to deliver something the audience feels like they could reach out and touch. Also, CGI blood sucks.
You're welcome, Robert. I'm glad you asked for my advice. Let me know if you need anything else.
Halloween is my favorite time of year, so I decided to make a list of 31 movies to watch this month. I consciously tried to avoid the usual suspects and really come up with some movies you wouldn't normally think of watching. I WILL NOT suggest you watch THE EXORCIST. Also, I tend to gravitate towards sequels. You've probably already seen A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. It's time to branch out.
1) TRICK R TREAT - Watch it on Halloween. Watch it!
2) CREEPSHOW - The best anthology movie of all-time. This movie warped my young mind and scared me so bad that I am still freaked out by a couple of scenes. I'm looking at you, human head on cake!
3) CABIN IN THE WOODS - Might just be the best deconstruction of the horror genre and the people who love it. We are all Gods who require a blood sacrifice to be satisfied.
4) SUSPIRIA - Doesn't make a lick of sense. But it creates art out of gore. And it has a room filled with barbed wire.
Image source: horrornovie.blospot.com
5) THE MIST - If Rod Serling were a complete asshole he would have written the twist for this movie. It's that mean-spirited.
6) THE RING - Still the best J-Horror remake. I might actually like this better than the original. Sea serpent rape is a lame backstory/explanation - - sorry, Japan.
7) SLITHER - 80's style horror comedy done right.
8) 28 WEEKS LATER - I love the original, but felt like this one got rid of the slow shots of people looking out of windows and replaced them with an unrelenting pace and a great set-up for another sequel that has yet to be made.
9) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - One of the first truly bleak endings in horror. Evil isn't vanquished, and our heroine is stark raving mad.
10) HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES - The ending is like a living haunted house. Plus it has Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding.
11) THE DESCENT - Prehistoric blind cave monsters vs spelunkers. Another bleak ending. Are we seeing a pattern? Happy endings are for suckers.
12) CABIN FEVER - Copious amounts of gore and boobs. You're welcome.
13) DRAG ME TO HELL - Possibly the most fun I ever had watching a horror film in a movie theater. This movie proves that you don't need blood to make a gory horror film. Snot and saliva are good substitutes.
14) NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - I said there wouldn't be any standards on this list....but you have to watch this movie at least once in October.
15) CHILD'S PLAY - Still one of the best killer doll movies of all time.
16) SINISTER - One of the more recent films on the list. I loved every second of it. Imagine 8MM mixed with a haunted house movie.
17) DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW - You will see the ending coming a mile away. However, everything is done so well, and the last shot is so creepy, that you won't care.
18) ZOMBIE - A truly hardcore Italian zombie film. Once it gets going every scene has an iconic image that has changed or influenced the zombie genre ever since.
19) BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN - Funnier and with more pathos than the original. There's also some pretty subversive and sacrilegious stuff going on throughout the film.
20) PUMPKINHEAD - A fun backwoods monster movie. Avoid the sequels at all costs.
21) THE RUINS - It's LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS with less singing and more self-mutilation.
Image source: fanpop.com
22) PARANORMAL ACTIVITY - Found footage horror done right. Shows just enough to keep it interesting. My only complaint is that the original ending was better...but would have kept sequels from getting made.
23) THE HILLS HAVE EYES (Remake) - Eschews Wes Craven's hippy-dippy "If we fight the monsters we become the monsters" thesis for post 9/11 cowboy propaganda. Yes, the American flag can be used as a weapon to kill our enemies.
24) SAW II - The best twist of the entire series. Like all good horror sequels, it ups the ante in all the right ways.
25) THE GRUDGE - Kabuki makeup has never been more terrifying. Both the original and the remake are equally good. You choose.
26) NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 - Loses the pseudo-artsy tone of the original and makes the kills more inventive. Freddy is starting to become more jokey.....but it hasn't gone overboard yet.
27) THE THING - John Carpenter wants us to know that you can't always expect a clean resolution...especially when alien replicants are involved.
28) LET THE RIGHT ONE IN - Leave it to the Swedes to make vampires scary again in a post-TWILIGHT world.
29) DAWN OF THE DEAD (Remake) - The social commentary in the original might be better...but this one is a whole hell of a lot scarier.
30) GRACE - Baby body-horror. Plays it completely straight until the pitch black punchline leaves us with a laugh and a gag.
31) EVIL DEAD - The original. The classic. The tree lover's nightmare.
That's it for this week, boils and ghouls. Pleasant Screams!!
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES was probably the first film I remember waiting in anticipation for. I visited the website every week for updates. I watched the trailer that was on the video cassette release of PITCH BLACK so many times the tape started to wear out. When Universal dropped it and it sat in limbo for two years I was devastated.
So, when I learned it was finally getting released but I would have to drive an hour and a half to see it my friends and I hopped in a car and made a trip of it. That's right. I drove for an hour and a half to see HO1C and it was totally worth it. I had no idea what to expect, and what I got was TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE on acid. Plus we got to eat at Pancho's afterwards, so that helped make the drive payoff.
My filmic love affair with Rob Zombie has continued unabated ever since. The horror community is pretty hot and cold on his work, but I have to give the man credit for making the movies he wants to make, for better or worse. Even his HALLOWEEN movies manage to stand on their own two feet and separate themselves both tonally and plot wise from the films that came before. I might not completely enjoy their white trash aesthetic but I have to give him credit for breaking the mold and even turning what could have been a cookie cutter remake into something brutal.
There is no beauty in the violence you see in a Rob Zombie movie. They are gritty and nihilistic. They are not fun. You aren't going to invite your friends over to have a party and watch THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. He is a filmmaker who wants us to drop our preconceived notions of what a horror film should be. I think he should be commended for that. Listed below are five moments that I think define his work.
1) HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (THE OPENING REEL) - I honestly had no idea what to expect when the movie started and we were dropped in the middle of an average evening at Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen. What the hell was going on? It was kind of funny. That weird guy from the episode of STAR TREK with the killer kids was talking with a middle-aged clown about Planet of the Apes dolls going up butts, and then, without warning, robbers were getting slaughtered by a guy wearing a huge plastic clown head. I was hooked. The rest of the movie doesn't quite live up to the opening scene....but it comes damn close.
2) HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (I REMEMBER YOU) - Like Quentin Tarantino, Rob Zombie is an expert at taking music and making you forever associate that music with his films. His use of Slim Whitman's "I Remember You" foreshadows his future use of "Freebird" and "Love Hurts" to create movie moments that, once watched, will forever change how you view those songs. Most people I have watched the movie with hate this scene and think it is boring. I think it is an amazing way to create tension and do something different with a scene that could have been very cliched.
3) THE DEVIL'S REJECTS (FREEBIRD SHOOTOUT) - The Hotel Scene may be more unsettling, but I think the way Rob Zombie ends this film is a work of art. Once again he goes against the trend of sequels and decides he is going to kill his antagonists and end things on his own terms. There will be no more sequels. He told the story he wanted to tell, and he is going out on top.
4) HALLOWEEN II (ENDING) - This scene is completely surreal, completely unexpected, and a real indication of where Rob would be going with his next movie.
5) LORDS OF SALEM (TURKEY DEVIL BABY) - Surreal and creepy in all the right ways. I really want everyone who hates this movie to watch it and imagine yourself at a Grind house in 1977 watching it as a double feature with SUSPIRIA. It is a perfect companion to the art house, slow-burn of 1970's occult films. A really interesting film that I hope finds new life on Blu-Ray.
WATCHMEN is one of my favorite movies. I think my obsession with this film is probably only matched by my obsession with PROMETHEUS....another film that the geek community seems to have a love/hate relationship with. I have both personal and filmic reasons why I think WATCHMEN is an amazing, beautiful, horrific, somewhat misunderstood movie, that deserves much more credit than it has received from the world-at-large. THE PERSONAL REASON
Blogs are all about self-disclosure.
Mine isn't.
But the other day I was looking through my movie collection and came across my DVD of WATCHMEN and was instantly taken back to March, 2009. A month that was life-changing, traumatic, and one of the most terrifying periods in my life.
In late February 2009 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It had gone undetected for many years. Other health problems had masked its symptoms and when the doctors finally found the tumor it was beginning to seriously affect my ability to breath, stand up, and function on a day-to-day basis. I have been through many difficult situations in my life, and I try to keep a positive attitude and humor about my problems. However, in this situation, I found my ability to cope stretched to its limits. Thankfully I found something to look forward to in all the chaos of that moment.
Like most comic book fans, I was already excited for WATCHMEN. I hadn't read the graphic novel, but I'm kind of weird that way. I'm a comic book fan who tends to just watch comic book movies. I don't actually read comics. However, after my diagnosis, my desire to see the film turned into an obsession. I even shaved a smiley face into my hair to celebrate seeing the movie. In that month before my surgery I viewed WATCHMEN as the last thing I had to look forward to during that uncertain time. And, as a movie fan, maybe the last important movie I would ever see.
I remember at one point sitting in my room contemplating my possible death and actually thinking "Well, at least I got to see WATCHMEN...."
It's the little things that get you through, I suppose. THE MOVIE
While I could go on and on about the acting, the directing, the set-design, the fights, and everything else that makes WATCHMEN work, I would like to focus on the most controversial aspect of the movie: the ending. The ending of the movie adds something that I feel is lacking in the graphic novel....something every good drama needs to succeed.
Films are about sacrifice.
Sophie had to make a choice. Schindler made a list. Vader saved Luke.
Sacrifice is exactly what the graphic novel lacks. Space Octopi uniting the world is an okay ending, I suppose. However, Dr. Manhattan being used as a scapegoat and common enemy for the world to unite against means that The Watchmen have to make a real sacrifice in order to keep world peace. Dr. Manhattan, the world's first real superhero, is now a villain. This adds an extra level of loss that the graphic novel lacks and creates a more satisfying filmic, experience.
So, in conclusion, don't talk bad about WATCHMEN around me. Ain't gonna fly. Also, I'm sorry I got all dramatic. It won't happen again. I swear.
