Each month we explore pop culture (we kind of have to, it's in our title), 80's and 90's nostalgia, movie and TV trends, old school toys & games, tropes, urban myths, and more. Commentary, criticisms, and opinions abound. Stick around, you might just be entertained.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Video Store Terror!!! The Big Box Video Covers That Made You Cry!

While discussing my last blog entry with a friend, we both started to reminisce about the old poster art that was on video cassettes in the 80's.  With little money for advertising and no "name" celebrities, the art on a video box was key in selling movies to horror hungry teens trolling the aisles for their latest fix.  Modern horror fans are used to floating heads around the image of the killer's mask for poster art — but back in the eighties and nineties, movie boxes had to convince you to pick up that movie and rent it.  Companies usually did this by making the boxes as gory and terrifying as possible.  The more shocking the cover art, the more likely some teenager was to pick up the movie and take it home.

Some of this poster art, HELLRAISER for example, is considered classic poster iconography.  Others have long since been forgotten except by those few of us who were unlucky enough to run into them on the shelves of our local Mom and Pop Video Store.  Below are just a few of the boxes that kept me away from certain sections of the Major Video in Lubbock, Texas.

Image Source:videodead.tumblr.com

Image Source: talkofhorrors.blogspot.com

Image Source: artscenecal.com

Image Source: imdb.com

Image Source: Movieposter.com
Image Source: talkofhorrors.blogspot.com

Image Source: moviepostershop.com

Image Source: clivebarker.com

Image Source: joblo.com

Unfortunately, with the rise of Netflix and the death of the video store (as well as the current lack of innovative poster art) the days of this kind of advertising are long gone.  But thankfully this art will live on forever on the internet and in the homes of collectors like me who remember what it really meant to be scared by something truly creative and shocking.

What posters scared you as a kid?  Comment below!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Top Five Things That Made Me Poop My Pants When I was a Kid (plus some stuff that scared my friends)


Anyone reading this blog knows I love horror movies.  What you might not know is that I was easily scared as a kid....and I'm still kind a lightweight.  I watch B-Horror Movies and Slasher Films because they really aren't scary.  Supernatural movies and more realistic horror films give me the heebie-jeebies, so I rarely watch them unless I'm in a group.  In fact, right now I'm watching SINISTER....and I'm regretting it already.

Below are a list of five things that scared the crap out of me as a kid....literally in some cases.

Image Source:Katiemetcalfe.wordpress.com


5. The Utburd - This drawing was in a TimeLife book about Ghosts.  I loved the book, but was so terrified by this painting that I would never read the chapter it was in for fear of seeing it accidentally.  In fact, one time the book was left open on my bed  and I was so scared I ran down the hallway to get to the bathroom so I wouldn't have a chance to even glimpse the picture.
Image source: xdind.com
4. Any Drawing by Stephen Gammell (but especially this one) - All three of the SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK BOOKS were staples in my household when I was a kid.  The stories were good...but the drawings made them great.  Recently Mr. Gammell's drawings were replaced with drawings that were less "terrifying" and "traumatizing."   I feel sorry for the generation that will not know the exquisite terror of seeing the drawing on the right every time they open up one of these books.




3. The POLTERGEIST Clown - Someone explain to me why Craig T. Nelson bought this for his kid.  That's child abuse.  Case closed.
Image source: villians.wikia.com



Image source: imdb.com
2.  GHOULIES biting me in the butt - I was kind of scared of toilets because of this movie.  I might have briefly considered revisiting diapers.  This idea might have been shot down by my mother.

Image source: Horrorstew.com
1. THE BLOB - Imagine if you will....a young Mo sitting in the movie theater with his mother.  He has been told that THE BLOB was made of melted Milkduds.  Suddenly he drops a few Milkduds on the floor of the movie theater.  Milkduds on a theater floor will obviously melt, turn into The Blob, and eat Little Mo in front of terrified movie patrons.  What follows is the epic freakout to end all freakouts.  His mother escorts him from the movie theater and his fear of THE BLOB is solidified.

AND A FEW THINGS THAT SCARED MY FRIENDS

Image Source: Comicaddicts.com
3) The Hulk - A big green guy who smashes things into a pulp.....is that really scary?  Yes, it is.  Unless of course that big green guy is being controlled by Ang Lee.











Image Source: Animatedfilmreview.blogspot.com
2) The Abominable Snowman (from Rudolph) - I was always more scared of Yukon Cornelius.  He licks the end of his pick axe.  Weirdo.






Image Source: Mutantreviewers.wordpress.com

1) Escalators - Look at that picture.  I ask you,
"Is that scary?"

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Top 10 Slasher Movies of All Time (Will TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE make the cut?!?)

As soon as my parents loosened the reigns on my movie watching and stopped censoring everything I rented I immediately started watching as many slasher movies as I could get my hands on.  Many weekends I would go to the local video store and rent entire series and devour them all in one sitting. I'm pretty sure I knocked out all the FRIDAY THE 13TH films in a weekend.  Unfortunately it happened to be a weekend when I was alone on our farm....and we lived by a lake.  Things got real.

10) SAW II - The best "twist" in any of the SAW movies.  Becker's receptionist was in on it the whole time.  Shocking.

9) FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7 - Kane Hodder puts on the Jason suit for the first time and fights a Carrie wannabe.  Sleeping bag kill is a classic.  Plus, Ghost Dad kills Jason at the end.

Image Source:Fanpop.com
8) BRIDE OF CHUCKY -  Chucky was never scary.  Thankfully Ronny Yu realized this and decided to make him funny.  Jennifer Tilly is great as "The Bride."  Shockingly, BRIDE OF CHUCKY beat BELOVED at the box office in its opening weekend.  I love America.

9) HALLOWEEN IV: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS - I am not a huge fan of the HALLOWEEN series.  The first film is essentially a ripoff of BLACK CHRISTMAS...and it's kind of boring.  The 4th film actually fixes most of the problems I have with the first movie: its gorier, the story is tighter, Donald Pleasence is crazier, and the ending is darker.  Unfortunately, PART 5 acts as if everything interesting that happened in PART 4 never occurred and the series never recovered.

Image source: Theconduitspeaks.com
7) THE HILLS HAVE EYES (REMAKE) - The polar opposite of the original.  Wes Craven theorized that if we fight back against the monsters that we become the monsters.  Post 9-11 the message becomes a pro-American gore fest where revenge is the answer and we are expected to fight back against those who have taken our families from us.  In a piece of none-to-subtle symbolism, the American flag is even used as a weapon by the liberal son-in-law to defend his family from marauding mutants.  Shockingly the director, Alexandre Aja, is French.  Wow.

6) HIGH TENSION - Another film by Alexandre Aja. The man knows his stuff.  This is an amazing abduction/slasher movie with a twist.  The twist, which I won't spoil, is great...but unfortunately the reveal is handled clumsily and makes everything much more confusing than it needed to be.

Image Source: Filmofilia.com
5) THE DEVIL'S REJECTS - HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES was a party movie.  THE DEVIL'S REJECTS is the movie you put on when you want everyone to leave the party.  A bleak exercise in seeing how far Rob Zombie could push an audience into the dark recesses of depravity.  I will always love this movie because it took everything I had felt about the Firefly clan after watching H01C and turned it on its head.  I have never examined my psychological reactions to a film more often than after I first watched this movie, and that has always impressed me.

4) HATCHET - Fun.  Gory.  Unrelenting.  The best 80's slasher movie to be filmed in the new millennium.  Any movie that creates the Gas Powered Belt Sander so it can be used in a kill is pretty cool in my book.

3)  MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D - Screw AVATAR.  The reason digital 3D was created was so I could see Tom Atkins jaw fly into the audience.  Case closed.

2) THE STRANGERS - Claustrophobic and intimate, this barely classifies as a "slasher" because there are really only two victims.  However, the sense of dread is palpable from the opening shots, and the Hitchcockian moments where the audience realizes the killer is already in the house are examples of the purest form of horror film making.

1) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - I don't need to say anything that hasn't already been said.  A movie this big could only happen in Texas.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Why do I know all the words to The Nanny's themesong....but I can't remember algebra?

Image source: Fanpop.com
It bugs me sometimes how much crap is floating round in my head.  I'm a relatively smart guy, I've got an MBA (not bragging), and I think I am pretty good at learning new skills and retaining that new info.  There are, however, some pretty glaring holes in my memories of Algebra, World History, Geography, and other subjects I learned about in college.

What is in the place of this important info that is required to be a functioning member of society?  A lot of useless trivia that will probably never help me in any way shape or form.  The following is a short list of various bits of inane trivia clogging up my brain pipes (in no particular order):


The words to AFTERNOON DELIGHT.

The names of most of the supporting cast of THE SIMPSONS (including last names where applicable).

Image source: Filmophelia.com
The chronology of events in all seven SAW films.

The words to the theme song for THE NANNY (including vocalizing the horns).

The differences between the "original" and the "special edition" STAR WARS releases.

The entire chronology of events in all ten FRIDAY THE 13TH films.

The words to most songs that were on THE SIMPSONS in Seasons 1-10 (including BABY ON BOARD).


Image source: annex.wikia.com
I realize that I might get lucky one day and answer a million dollar trivia question about what Cary Elwes was doing in SAW 7.....but it is more likely that I'll be asked to point out Paraguay on a map.  And, unfortunately that particular synapse contains the various setups and payoffs in BACK TO THE FUTURE 1-3.

Oh well.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

DVD REVIEW: THE GOODE FAMILY (The Complete Series)

Show
I only remember watching a few episodes of THE GOODE FAMILY when it originally aired in the Summer of 2009.  I liked it, but I don't remember being particularly interested in watching every week. As a huge fan of Mike Judge, I kind of regretted it when I heard it had been cancelled and wished I had watched more episodes.

As the years went on, certain elements stuck with me: Che (the "vegan" dog), Ubuntu (The Goode's  "African" adopted son), and Charlie (the conservative stepdad).  Occasionally I would talk to friends who liked animation if they remembered the show, and most people had a vague memory of it but couldn't tell me much of what had happened.  As time passed I sort of forgot about the show since it didn't look like I was ever  going to get a chance to watch it again.  Now, thanks to Shout Factory I can finally sit down and enjoy a show I really should have watched in its original run.

List of episodes:
 Pilot
Pleatherheads
Goodes Gone Wild
Helen's Back
A Tale of Two Lesbians
Freeganomics
Graffiti in Greenville
A Goode Game of Chicken
After School Special
Trouble in Store
Gerald's Way or the Highway
A Goode Man is Hard to Find.

During it's twelve episode run, The GOODE FAMILY manages to touch on many of the current trends occurring in the ultra-liberal politically correct world.  An astounding amount of topics are covered and most of them are handled quite astutely.  The Goode's often find themselves not only the brunt of scorn from the conservatives in their lives, but judged by their liberal friends for not being "good liberals."  An interesting decision that shows the difficulty to fit into even the most "accepting" political groups in our society.

The standout episode for me was "A Tale of Two Lesbians" which involved The Goode's having to decide between their friendship of a local working class Lesbian couple and the new chic lesbians who just moved into town.  It was, I'm sure, a pretty racy topic for 2009, and it could probably still ruffle a few feathers.  An interesting side note is that the working class Lesbian couple was not played as a one-shot topic and actually remained as supporting characters throughout the series run.  Another smart move by the creators.

Image soure: Wikipedia
It's hard to review the animation in most modern shows because, unlike classic animation it isn't very "cartoony."  There's no "squash and stretch" and characters are kept on model with a very specific set of expressions throughout the series run.  THE GOOD FAMILY manages to set itself apart somewhat by creating a style that involves cross-hatch shading on just about every object in the Goode's world.  This  gives the show a very R. Crumb underground animation feel that serves the topic of nouveau hippies well.

Voice acting is strong across the board, but the standout for me were Judge as Gerald Goode.  Judge gives Gerald a very similar voice to his Mr. Van Driessen character from Beavis and Butthead.  Judge had already mined Beavis and Butthead when he chose to make Hank Hill a vocal doppelganger for Mr. Anderson, but I think in both situations the familiar voice matched with a new situation and character design works.  Gerald is played as a guy who will be politically correct at any cost, and this single-mindedness makes him somewhat dense in most situations.  He is not completely the butt of the jokes, but Judge is definitely trying to show that a well-rounded moderate view of the world makes a person less socially stunted.  It's the rare moment where Gerald sees the world from another viewpoint that give the show it's most potent social commentary and kept me watching.

Video
 Shout Factory has given THE GOODE FACTORY an amazing video presentation.  Colors are strong and stable.  And, although I looked hard, I didn't see any aliasing or banding.  The picture was quite pleasing and, dare I say it, pretty for a show with fairly simple animation.

Sound
Both the 5.1 Dolby Digital and 2 Channel mixes are solid.  Voices are strong and placed squarely in the forefront with good use of other channels for ambient noise and soundtrack.

Special Features

Audio Commentaries
Deleted Scenes
Unaired Scripts
Featurettes
Unaired PSA

Image source:nj.com
The standout special feature on the set are the commentaries with show creators Dave Krinsky and John Altschuler.  Because of the limited number of participants and limited number of commentaries, I felt that, unlike THE SIMPSONS, each commentary was full of info and limited self congratulatory back-patting or laughter.

Conclusion
A strong comedy gets a second life on DVD thanks to Shout Factory.  Great episodes and a strong video and audio presentation along with solid special features make this another great release from a company that is well known for their devotion to the obscure.

DVD Rating
4 out of 5

 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Top Five TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW! GREAT JOB!


Tim and Eric are a very love them or hate them comedy duo.  I love them.  I've seen them live twice, I own their CD, all five seasons of their show, their movie, Tom Goes to the Mayor on DVD.....I've given them a lot of my money.  Thankfully they have re-payed me with love and laughter (single tear rolls down cheek).

5) Little Dancin' Man - Zach Galifianakis and Levar Burton have been looking for a project to do together for years.  Tim and Eric gave them that project. 

Image source: tumblr.com
 4) The Jeff Goldbluman Group - Short and sweet.  This skit gave us the unforgettable sight of 4 partially animated Jeff GoldBlumen whistling their hit "Funk Barn."
Image source: tumblr.com
 3)  The Innernette - Finally.  all the joys of the internet on one CD-Rom.  No more e-worms for you.  And with hundreds of songs in their music store, the variety seems almost endless.
Image source: tumblr.com
2) Where's My Chippy? - I had a shirt with this guy on it for about a year.  I never wore it because people refused to be seen with me if I wore it.  I no longer have the shirt...but I can still hang out with this little guy in my dreams.
Image source: tumblr.com











1) Steve Mahanahan's Child Clown Outlet - Kids are creepy.  Clowns are creepy.  Child clowns are surprisingly cute.  Don't forget to feed them, though.  Dead Child Clowns are just depressing.
Image source: tumblr.com

"Does HE MAN really need a 40 disc boxset?" and other questions every nerd must answer at some point.

At some point in life every geek is gong to be asked a question that is impossible to answer because any answer will only make you seem like an obsessive super-fan who has a need for a dose of reality.  These questions can come at any time, and can be about random complete series dvd collections that cost way too much, the need to purchase for a new version of STAR WARS, or the validity of who shot who first in a certain space cantina.  Below is a short list of a few questions I'm sure we've all heard some variation of.  I can't answer them for you.

Sorry.

Image source: media.photobucket.com
"Do you really need to watch documentaries on the making of HE MAN?"

"So what if Han shot first?  What's the big deal?"

"Why do you need the Deluxe Edition?"

"Do you really need every season on DVD?"

"Do you really need every Friday the 13th on DVD?"

"How many different Freddy Krueger toys do we really need?"

"Does the Blu ray really look that much better?"

There are, of course, many more.  But we've all got our own questionable geeky habits that should be questioned by those around us.  Leave a comment with your special questions and help others gain the foresight of what they will have to answer for in their lives.


Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Moment I Knew

I remember it distinctly.

The moment I knew I had become an adult.  I'm not saying I am completely mature, that I have ever stopped watching cartoons, or that I stopped collecting toys and comics, but I definitely hit a moment where I realized I had grown up.  And there was no turning back.

Image source: Fanpop.com
It was like any other Saturday night.  My friend Mike and I went to go see a movie at the Queen Cinema in Eunice, La.  The Queen is one of those small town movie theaters where the teens working behind the counter will let you get into R-rated movies, the walls are not soundproofed so you can always hear the movie playing next to you, the candy is all off brand and stale, and everything kind of smells like mold but the smell never actually gets better or worse.  I know it sounds crappy....but it was all we had.  We lived in Eunice, La.  We didn't know any better.

So, Mike and I sat down to watch a movie we had been waiting months for.  It was going to be awesome.

LIAR LIAR starring Jim Carrey.

The next hour and a half of film unspooled before our eyes and left Mike and I questioning everything we thought we knew.  Why was Jim Carrey ripping off EVIL DEAD 2? Was Jim Carrey funny?  Had he ever been funny?  Was there a God?  Could Jennifer Tilly's cleavage save a movie?  We looked for answers.  We found none.

To wash the stink of LIAR LIAR out of our eyeholes we high-tailed it over to the local video store to rent DESPERADO as soon as the movie was over.  The promise of potential Salma Hayek nudity would make us feel better.  Sometimes it is the simple things that make all the difference.

Like I said.  I became an adult that night.  I never said I was mature.