The Moment I Knew

I remember it distinctly.

The moment I knew I had become an adult.  I'm not saying I am completely mature, that I have ever stopped watching cartoons, or that I stopped collecting toys and comics, but I definitely hit a moment where I realized I had grown up.  And there was no turning back.

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It was like any other Saturday night.  My friend Mike and I went to go see a movie at the Queen Cinema in Eunice, La.  The Queen is one of those small town movie theaters where the teens working behind the counter will let you get into R-rated movies, the walls are not soundproofed so you can always hear the movie playing next to you, the candy is all off brand and stale, and everything kind of smells like mold but the smell never actually gets better or worse.  I know it sounds crappy....but it was all we had.  We lived in Eunice, La.  We didn't know any better.

So, Mike and I sat down to watch a movie we had been waiting months for.  It was going to be awesome.

LIAR LIAR starring Jim Carrey.

The next hour and a half of film unspooled before our eyes and left Mike and I questioning everything we thought we knew.  Why was Jim Carrey ripping off EVIL DEAD 2? Was Jim Carrey funny?  Had he ever been funny?  Was there a God?  Could Jennifer Tilly's cleavage save a movie?  We looked for answers.  We found none.

To wash the stink of LIAR LIAR out of our eyeholes we high-tailed it over to the local video store to rent DESPERADO as soon as the movie was over.  The promise of potential Salma Hayek nudity would make us feel better.  Sometimes it is the simple things that make all the difference.

Like I said.  I became an adult that night.  I never said I was mature.