Image source: Diabolique Magazine |
There was a brief moment where I really wanted to see the new Texas Chainsaw. I thought about going today. Then I decided I would rather watch Lena Dunham than Leatherface. I never thought I would say those words.
Don't worry....I'm not abandoning horror movies. I'll be first in line for THE LAST EXORCISM PART 2, and I'm counting down the moments until the new EVIL DEAD movie. The difference between those movies and the new Texas Chainsaw comes down to one word...respect. I feel like Sam Raimi, Eli Roth, and Lena Dunham all think that people who watch their movies are smart individuals who have a pop-culture memory that extends past the nineties and who look for some redeeming social message even in the silliest of jokes or the sloppiest of horror films.
Image source: Oh Silly Me blog |
(On a side note, I would just like to say that I did indeed go to see a SAW film every year for seven years. While this is not my proudest pop culture moment....it is certainly not the most shameful.)
Here is just a short list of the issues I have with the new Texas Chainsaw (without having seen the movie):
1) No "Massacre" in the title. That's right....an audience that is going to an R-Rated movie about cannibals will probably be turned off by the word "massacre." This change reeks of some suit in a marketing office somewhere deciding that "massacre" was "too negative" to be in the title.
2) Not filmed in Texas. Fans of TCM know what Texas looks like. Don't try to make me think Louisiana is Texas.....
3) Women in the Sawyer family. One of the themes in the first movie was how the lack of a mother figure can effect a family. By adding women to the family, the filmmakers negate this important bit of social commentary and also retroactively rewrite the first film. BOOOO!
4) Wonky timeline. The movie starts in 73, jumps to modern times, and the heroine (born in 73) is only in her 20's. You do the math. The filmmakers don't think you can.
5) Another rapper turned actor. "Hey I want to break into movies by starring in a horror film. Have I seen the original? Hell no. Can I put a song in the movie too? I can?!? Yay, thanks."
To complain in any more detail I would have to see the movie. I'm not invested enough to spend the time or the money. I would rather get done with the episode of GIRLS that I just paused to finish this entry. Lena Dunham - 1, Leatherface - 0.