Robert Rodriguez.....Tarantino's Less Talented Younger Brother

I used to love Robert Rodriguez.  However, I think, after seeing the trailer for MACHETE KILLS, that I have finally moved on.  And, after seeing the box office turnout for his latest (and probably final) MACHETE flick, I would postulate that everyone else has moved on too. The man who gave us the fun and gritty EL MARIACHI and DESPERADO has finally devolved into creating live action cartoons with no story, mediocre acting, misplaced humor, and an over reliance on CGI.  He has squandered and relied on the goodwill created by his early films to continue producing increasingly bad films that imitate but fail to understand what makes even the worst genre films succeed on some level.

1) Casting - When Tarantino casts a movie with unexpected or down-on-their-luck genre actors it is because he sees something in those actors that he believes they will bring to the character.  There is a reason Robert Forster was nominated for an Academy Award for JACKIE BROWN, he gave an unexpectedly subtle and touching performance.  He had been relegated to B-Movie schlock, but Tarantino saw something in him and brought that out in a moving performance.  This is also the reason that Tarantino cast Travolta in PULP FICTION.  Tarantino knew that Travolta's abilities were greater than the roles he was being offered and he just needed someone to give him an opportunity to show his acting chops.

Rodriguez has no such skill in casting based off of ability.  More often than not it seems he relies solely on stunt casting.  Willem Dafoe as a drug overlord?  Mel Gibson as a terrorist leader?  Charlie Sheen as the President?  Rodriguez isn't hiring these people because of their ability to bring some nuance to a performance...he is hiring them because people will see them in a trailer and say "Oh my God...I can't believe he hired ______."

I would argue that the last time Rodriguez hired based on ability was SIN CITY.  Every person in that movie made more of their performance than the graphic novel roots of the film dictated.  For example, Mickey Rourke brings heart and soul to the character of Marv that is both surprising and unexpected.  However, I believe that if Rodriguez was making the film today he would have cast Romeo Rose as Marv just so the audience would be shocked by who was cast, not by how well they acted.  Unfortunately this stunt casting also dates the movies and any articles written complaining about them.

Image source:1zoom.net

2) Kids Movies - We all loved SPY KIDS.  It was actually kind of unusual family entertainment.  Then Rodriguez started churning out more SPY KIDS movies to diminishing returns.  Then he let his kid write ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL.  Do you think Hitchcock would have ever let his five year old daughter script a movie?  No, he wouldn't.  There's a reason for that.

I just want Rodriguez to quit dipping his toes in the kiddie pool every few years. It's not doing his career any favors.

3) Overreliance on Comedy - Tarantino sprinkles his films with darkly humorous moments that come from character reactions to the implausible situations they are placed in or based on the realistic dialogue and interactions of the characters.  Unfortunately, Rodriguez doesn't know how to write dialogue, so he relies on constant splat-stick to keep his movies humorous.  Rodriguez doesn't know how much humor to add, often making his films feel like comedies when they are supposed to be action films.

For example, MACHETE would have been amazing if he had played it straight and acted as if he was making a serious movie.  The humor would have naturally arisen from grizzled Danny Trejo getting the ladies and killing the bad-guys.  Rodriguez thinks that we need to be told what is funny, so we are hit over the head with excessive gore, bad jokes, lame catch-phrases, and spotty acting.  He doesn't trust the humor to arise from the situation, and so tries to artificially create laughs, creating a movie with no real identity.

Don't get me started on MACHETE KILLS.  It looks like a live action LOONEY TUNES cartoon but without the subtle humor of Speedy Gonzalez.

4) Scripts - Rodriguez does not know how to write a script.  Even his simplest films contain elements that make no sense.  I'll never forget when I got to the big reveal of PLANET TERROR that was supposed to explain everything.  I actually had to watch it several times just to get what had happened....and I still don't really get the explanation.  I think the US Government created the virus to give to soldiers who killed Osama Bin Laden because they didn't want anyone to know we had killed Osama for some reason.  Don't get me started on ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO.  I have no idea what the hell was going on. I think some government people staged a coup to steal some money and make Johnny Depp a blind hitman.  Or something like that. Some people probably think this is an homage to the mediocre writing of the drive-in movies of yore.  If any other filmmaker had done these movies I would have agreed.  But since Rodriguez wrote them I'm going to assume he didn't know how to write a comprehensible explanation or plotline.

Image source:dvdbeaver.com

It's no coincidence that the two of the best films Rodriguez directed, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and SIN CITY, weren't written by Rodriguez.  One could argue that he wrote SIN CITY, but since the movie is almost a word for word copy of the graphic novels from Frank Miller, I don't know how much credit can actually be given to Rodriguez.

5) TOO MUCH CGI!!! - PLANET TERROR was a great blast of live action gore effects.  CGI was used sparingly, and mainly to enhance practical effects.  However, I feel like Rodriguez is getting further and further into CGI territory with every film.  The issue is that his films rarely have the budget to afford the quality of CGI needed to convince an audience of their reality and suspend disbelief.  Therefore, I suggest that he stick to real tangible effects in order to deliver something the audience feels like they could reach out and touch.  Also, CGI blood sucks.


You're welcome, Robert.  I'm glad you asked for my advice.  Let me know if you need anything else.