How C3-PO and R2-D2 screwed up Scotty and Bones

I loved STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS.  As a piece of 9/11 allegory it was top notch.  The acting was great, the action was dynamic, and it felt like J.J. Abrams finally got the spirit of STAR TREK.  I might even have a slight man-crush on Zachary Quinto.  But, like an evening out with a German mime, my experience was not all smiles and sunshine.  And my issue arose in the unlikeliest of places...J.J. Abrams ham-fisted attempt to make Scotty and Bones the comic relief.

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I am so sick of sci-fi and fantasy filmmakers thinking that each movie needs a character or characters whose only purpose seems to be a constant stream of gags and punchlines.  And, like many things in my life, I blame George Lucas.  More specifically, C3-PO and R2-D2.  Before those sassy droids, fantasy filmmakers let humor arise naturally out of situations.  However, since that first moment C3-PO and R2-D2 bitched their way across the desert on Tatooine filmmakers have felt beholden to keep the kiddies happy with a steady stream of jokes and prat falls.

George Lucas, like the filmmakers inspired by STAR WARS, has fallen prey to the trend he created and allowed C3-PO and R2-D2 to dictate the future direction of the STAR WARS films.  As the series has continued Lucas has added more and more comic relief both furry (Ewoks) and mildly racist (Gungans) to the series.  This trend unfortunately turned STAR WARS from a space opera to a kiddie fartfest.  Not content to ruin only STAR WARS Lucas also managed to infest Indiana Jones with wacky sidekicks who got Indy into outlandish situations, were cute and Asian, or screamed shrilly for the entire movie.

While I'm annoyed with J. J. Abrams, he isn't the worst offender.  Aside from George Lucas and STAR WARS, Peter Jackson's LORD OF THE RINGS and, more recently THE HOBBIT, have been increasingly beholden to comic relief.  Jackson has seen fit to bombard us with a steady stream of midgets with odd facial hair who sing and screw things up frequently.  With Merry and Pippin it was okay, but at least half of the characters in THE HOBBIT were just there to mug for the camera and be indistinguishable from each other unless you happen to remember what odd facial hair belonged to what dwarf.

What about Scotty and Bones and their roles in STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS?  The STAR TREK reboot was a fluffy action movie, so I didn't really notice that Bones and Scotty were there just to spout their catchphrases over and over again.  This issue didn't really effect me until I saw the more serious and socially minded INTO DARKNESS a few weeks ago.  Because of the serious tone the constant comic relief is more obvious and grates against the social commentary present in the rest of the film.

Bones and his role in the STAR TREK universe are especially hurt by the transformation into comic relief.  In the original series he was a counterpoint to Spock's inability to express emotion or to do anything that wasn't "rational."  However, since Abrams has given this counterpoint relationship to Kirk and Spock I think he had a hard time figuring out what Bones' new role would be.  I guess he decided that Bones should just stand in the background and angrily spout various iterations of his "Damnit Jim I'm a doctor not a ________" catchphrase and other lame jokes.

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Scotty isn't treated much better, but he was also less defined in the original series.  Unless something went wrong with engine or someone needed to be transported he didn't really have much to do.  INTO DARKNESS casts him a drunken Scottish stereotype that runs to a bar at the first sign of conflict.  He fares better than Bones only because Abrams does give him the chance to save the day several times and to step out of the engine room to become part of the plot.  He isn't a deep character, but he's an important one.  So, I'm going to give Abrams a partial pass on Scotty.

So, in conclusion, I have a dream....a dream where filmmakers treat revered characters with respect and do not feel the need to appeal to kids and teenagers by making their films more "funny."  Where humor arises out of situations, not falling droids and Hobbit farts.  I have a dream.