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Friday, October 4, 2013

TOP 31 HORROR FILMS TO WATCH BEFORE HALLOWEEN

Halloween is my favorite time of year, so I decided to make a list of 31 movies to watch this month.  I consciously tried to avoid the usual suspects and really come up with some movies you wouldn't normally think of watching.  I WILL NOT suggest you watch THE EXORCIST.  Also, I tend to gravitate towards sequels.  You've probably already seen A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.  It's time to branch out.

1) TRICK R TREAT - Watch it on Halloween.  Watch it!
2) CREEPSHOW - The best anthology movie of all-time.  This movie warped my young mind and scared me so bad that I am still freaked out by a couple of scenes. I'm looking at you, human head on cake!
3) CABIN IN THE WOODS - Might just be the best deconstruction of the horror genre and the people who love it.  We are all Gods who require a blood sacrifice to be satisfied.
4) SUSPIRIA - Doesn't make a lick of sense.  But it creates art out of gore.  And it has a room filled with barbed wire.
Image source: horrornovie.blospot.com
5) THE MIST - If Rod Serling were a complete asshole he would have written the twist for this movie.  It's that mean-spirited.
6) THE RING - Still the best J-Horror remake.  I might actually like this better than the original.  Sea serpent rape is a lame backstory/explanation - - sorry, Japan.
7) SLITHER - 80's style horror comedy done right.
8) 28 WEEKS LATER - I love the original, but felt like this one got rid of the slow shots of people looking out of windows and replaced them with an unrelenting pace and a great set-up for another sequel that has yet to be made.
9) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - One of the first truly bleak endings in horror.  Evil isn't vanquished, and our heroine is stark raving mad.
10) HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES - The ending is like a living haunted house.  Plus it has Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding.
11) THE DESCENT - Prehistoric blind cave monsters vs spelunkers.  Another bleak ending.  Are we seeing a pattern?  Happy endings are for suckers.
12) CABIN FEVER - Copious amounts of gore and boobs.  You're welcome.
13) DRAG ME TO HELL - Possibly the most fun I ever had watching a horror film in a movie theater.  This movie proves that you don't need blood to make a gory horror film.  Snot and saliva are good substitutes.
14) NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - I said there wouldn't be any standards on this list....but you have to watch this movie at least once in October.
15) CHILD'S PLAY - Still one of the best killer doll movies of all time.
16) SINISTER - One of the more recent films  on the list.  I loved every second of it.  Imagine 8MM mixed with a haunted house movie.
17) DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW - You will see the ending coming a mile away.  However, everything is done so well, and the last shot is so creepy, that you won't care.
18) ZOMBIE - A truly hardcore Italian zombie film.  Once it gets going every scene has an iconic image that has changed or influenced the zombie genre ever since.
19) BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN - Funnier and with more pathos than the original.  There's also some pretty subversive and sacrilegious stuff going on throughout the film.
20) PUMPKINHEAD - A fun backwoods monster movie.  Avoid the sequels at all costs.
21) THE RUINS - It's LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS with less singing and more self-mutilation.
Image source: fanpop.com
22) PARANORMAL ACTIVITY - Found footage horror done right.  Shows just enough to keep it interesting.  My only complaint is that the original ending was better...but would have kept sequels from getting made.
23) THE HILLS HAVE EYES (Remake) - Eschews Wes Craven's hippy-dippy "If we fight the monsters we become the monsters" thesis for post 9/11 cowboy propaganda.  Yes, the American flag can be used as a weapon to kill our enemies.
24) SAW II - The best twist of the entire series.  Like all good horror sequels, it ups the ante in all the right ways.
25) THE GRUDGE - Kabuki makeup has never been more terrifying.  Both the original and the remake are equally good.  You choose.
26) NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 - Loses the pseudo-artsy tone of the original and makes the kills more inventive.  Freddy is starting to become more jokey.....but it hasn't gone overboard yet.
27) THE THING - John Carpenter wants us to know that you can't always expect a clean resolution...especially when alien replicants are involved.
28) LET THE RIGHT ONE IN - Leave it to the Swedes to make vampires scary again in a post-TWILIGHT world.
29) DAWN OF THE DEAD (Remake) - The social commentary in the original might be better...but this one is a whole hell of a lot scarier.
30) GRACE - Baby body-horror.  Plays it completely straight until the pitch black punchline leaves us with a laugh and a gag.
31) EVIL DEAD - The original.  The classic.  The tree lover's nightmare.

That's it for this week, boils and ghouls.  Pleasant Screams!!