1) TRICK R TREAT - Watch it on Halloween. Watch it!
2) CREEPSHOW - The best anthology movie of all-time. This movie warped my young mind and scared me so bad that I am still freaked out by a couple of scenes. I'm looking at you, human head on cake!
3) CABIN IN THE WOODS - Might just be the best deconstruction of the horror genre and the people who love it. We are all Gods who require a blood sacrifice to be satisfied.
4) SUSPIRIA - Doesn't make a lick of sense. But it creates art out of gore. And it has a room filled with barbed wire.
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6) THE RING - Still the best J-Horror remake. I might actually like this better than the original. Sea serpent rape is a lame backstory/explanation - - sorry, Japan.
7) SLITHER - 80's style horror comedy done right.
8) 28 WEEKS LATER - I love the original, but felt like this one got rid of the slow shots of people looking out of windows and replaced them with an unrelenting pace and a great set-up for another sequel that has yet to be made.
9) TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - One of the first truly bleak endings in horror. Evil isn't vanquished, and our heroine is stark raving mad.
10) HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES - The ending is like a living haunted house. Plus it has Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding.
11) THE DESCENT - Prehistoric blind cave monsters vs spelunkers. Another bleak ending. Are we seeing a pattern? Happy endings are for suckers.
12) CABIN FEVER - Copious amounts of gore and boobs. You're welcome.
13) DRAG ME TO HELL - Possibly the most fun I ever had watching a horror film in a movie theater. This movie proves that you don't need blood to make a gory horror film. Snot and saliva are good substitutes.
14) NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - I said there wouldn't be any standards on this list....but you have to watch this movie at least once in October.
15) CHILD'S PLAY - Still one of the best killer doll movies of all time.
16) SINISTER - One of the more recent films on the list. I loved every second of it. Imagine 8MM mixed with a haunted house movie.
17) DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW - You will see the ending coming a mile away. However, everything is done so well, and the last shot is so creepy, that you won't care.
18) ZOMBIE - A truly hardcore Italian zombie film. Once it gets going every scene has an iconic image that has changed or influenced the zombie genre ever since.
19) BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN - Funnier and with more pathos than the original. There's also some pretty subversive and sacrilegious stuff going on throughout the film.
20) PUMPKINHEAD - A fun backwoods monster movie. Avoid the sequels at all costs.
21) THE RUINS - It's LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS with less singing and more self-mutilation.
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23) THE HILLS HAVE EYES (Remake) - Eschews Wes Craven's hippy-dippy "If we fight the monsters we become the monsters" thesis for post 9/11 cowboy propaganda. Yes, the American flag can be used as a weapon to kill our enemies.
24) SAW II - The best twist of the entire series. Like all good horror sequels, it ups the ante in all the right ways.
25) THE GRUDGE - Kabuki makeup has never been more terrifying. Both the original and the remake are equally good. You choose.
26) NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 - Loses the pseudo-artsy tone of the original and makes the kills more inventive. Freddy is starting to become more jokey.....but it hasn't gone overboard yet.
27) THE THING - John Carpenter wants us to know that you can't always expect a clean resolution...especially when alien replicants are involved.
28) LET THE RIGHT ONE IN - Leave it to the Swedes to make vampires scary again in a post-TWILIGHT world.
29) DAWN OF THE DEAD (Remake) - The social commentary in the original might be better...but this one is a whole hell of a lot scarier.
30) GRACE - Baby body-horror. Plays it completely straight until the pitch black punchline leaves us with a laugh and a gag.
31) EVIL DEAD - The original. The classic. The tree lover's nightmare.
That's it for this week, boils and ghouls. Pleasant Screams!!